Objectivism and Transsexual Identity (part1) we are not language constructs.

Image via Wikipedia

Just a quick post after a brief chat with Katie at genderqueer.co.uk about gender / trans labels. I thought it would be useful to look at transsexualism as being something emerging out of issues of gender identity whilst transgender being a function of behavioural gender roles. note* I use the phrase trans to describe the entire spectrum and transsexual and transgender in alignment.

I thought after this chat it would be beneficial, if only for me, to look at the fine line that exists  between externally ‘real’ concepts and equally subjectively ‘real’ inner realities.  Both have their part to play in much of the difficulties surrounding trans identity, from the perspective of the observer and also the person being observed. In the first part I want to look at the objective external reality, in the second part the inner subjective self and in the third part bring the two together.

One of the first mistakes some trans people make, I state this as a truism, is to argue against the fact that there are objectively real binary genders.  They say that male and female are language constructs and are more about assigned roles than actual real difference. I would hope to elucidate briefly how the brain works and forms concepts without the need for any language and hence show that male and female are objective realities as opposed to mere labels constructed from language.  I think epistemological language games remove us from really useful discussion about gender, that would lead to better psychological outcomes and a more fulfilling idea of a real true self.

I use objectivism as a way of explaining how we are born with the innate hard coded ability to form concepts. These concepts are necessarily free from language they are part of our gene code and essential for our survival. I am not strictly seeing this from a Jungian archetype perspective but rather from Rand’s ideas on concept formation.

When Rand speaks of concepts she talks of the innate ability for us to distinguish one thing from another thing. To classify things based upon similarities and equally classify other things from that, based upon their differences. We are born with the understanding for example that object x is close to us whilst object y is  further away. We don’t need language for this or any units of measurements we simply understand that concept without thinking. It is the objective reality of the world we are born into. Equally from this we grasp the concept of size and shape so again we can distinguish the appearance of object x and object y. Rand looked at this as concepts being formed due to our inbuilt mathematical sense of the world we find ourselves in. If we saw one table we would have the inbuilt understanding to see it as being different from a chair, in terms of attributes such as shape. This is fundamental to how our brain works and learns.

Objectivism indicates we are born with the ability to form concepts without language and to be able to differentiate and create classes, sub classes and types of things. We can see similarities and we can see differences. Male and female are not only fundamentally biologically different there common external presentation is different. This differences may be subtle in some cases (not when unclothed)but the brain has a highly tuned ability to detect minute differences and classify patterns accordingly. We are far more capable of doing this than even the best computers. This external difference is what manifests itself to the observers brain as conceptual awareness of a female class as opposed to a male class. This is unavoidable as this is how our brains are wired to understand the world in which we find ourselves. Heidegger talks of being in the world and it is a core part of our being in the world that we form concepts.

We cannot create a path that takes us away from the reality of how we are as human beings or deny the way our brains actually work in order that we learn. To seek to deny what is true takes us back to Descatres saying how do I know a devil is not deceiving me and the world is actually real at all.  It seems in our secular age we have looked to science to find answers where once we looked to belief. It seems out of time to be debating ideas of true binary genders as a non physical reality when evidentially that is clearly not the case. We are not born with language but rather the ability to conceptualise without it. This is based further upon the brain’s innate ability to differentiate mathematically, without needing a measurement. The brain knows there is a size difference, a shape difference without needing language or the direct ability to understand mathematics.

Whilst many would say this is writing about the extreme end of gender politics as some trans people may view things. I personally feel it very important to begin with acknowledgement of fundamental real objective difference. This then will enable me to fully explore transsexualism as opposed to transgender as the foundations will be firmly in place. I would then seek to build the subjective and environmental walls upon and around this core in part 2.

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Graphic Novels; Creative recycling.

Two small air conditioning units on the side of a building

They are now a research facility roof for a graphic novel character to walk upon.

Is this any different from sitting in a cafe with a notebook and pen and listening to conversations in order that one is inspired to write stories. I personally think it is pretty much the same thing happening. It is about opening oneself up to what surrounds us and then taking that and making something else out of it. It is creative recycling I suppose. Someone designed these ventilator discs and they are beautiful, but they do not necessarily have to be seen by us as just ventilator discs. I saw them as interesting shapes and something that I might like to work with in the computer. They have become shafts that are high up on a roof for my character to now have to try and descend. The visual aids the story idea. In this case I have just put together a brief example to show how a stroll around a given area can throw up alternatives to the things that we naturally see when we are out and about. We don’t have to see the use immediately, sometimes we do, and sometimes it emerges on the desktop and of course we also throw lots of things away too.

I could of course sketch them and I have a new ability on the Ipad2 to do this. The wireless feature is only available with the latest version of Photoshop (5.5). This will prove incredibly useful as we are now able to easily carry very mobile lightweight authoring devices for our words, images and sketches wherever we go. The outside environment can be a creative space for doing, or it can also be a quick means of getting our ideas down and then bringing them back to the desktop environment for new story development and idea generation. This process is forcing me to write, draw, paint, and take photographs so regardless of the eventual outcome I think that is a pretty good creative workout. The work done here will pay off somewhere else if it doesn’t deliver a conclusion in terms of a graphic novel. I am creating a lot more and when I do that I feel happier so as an overall exercise I am pleased with where it is taking me.

I think with my interest in science fiction shows, as these images are all tending to refer to that genre. I do find the images useful also for stories that I write that have no graphical elements. They help me to visualise environments and situations a little better. They also provide an ideal method of producing believable descriptions for readers as I have the elements I need in front of me and I can see the smallest of details. I would refer to them rather than religiously copy from them as I want them for locking down detail. I don’t want them to prevent the imagination flow hence I am careful to just use them as reference.

I am finding the idea of making a graphic novel much more fascinating than I first thought I might. I have always read them but never analysed too closely why I enjoyed them. When one gets into the mindset of trying to tell a story in that way, a whole world of different art forms merge and I realise the discipline and hard work that must go into making a coherent cohesive (not necessarily linear narrative) story.   It is a great learning experience for all forms of creative endeavour’ form novel writing to film making. I am fortunate in that I have always read a lot and have a wide knowledge of cinema, so I am able to perhaps see Fassbinder in a street corner or feel Robert Bresson in the simple act of a opening a door onto a street. I have seen and felt what these artists have done with tiny elements and how they have created worlds with their unique vision. They simply make you more aware of the things that go unnoticed and for that these directors are an enormous help in thinking visually.  In terms of drama I love Tennessee Williams as an author he created brilliant memorable characters and lovely vignettes of place with small precise details much as Hemingway did.  Theatre in Greek originally meant ‘seeing place’ so it is very interesting to see how Tennessee Williams wrote very visually, some playwrights don’t manage to understand that point at all.

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Graphic Novel. Finding a voice of your own.

Using image and text to try and create a feeling in the viewer

I wanted to answer my own question in my last post and create an image that fits with where I feel I may want to take the graphic novel idea. These ideas as I said previously tend for me to come from a surrealist or abstract form of expression. I thought rather than just write about it I would quickly put together an image and text to see if I could represent that. I started with the premise of who am I and I then tried to think of how I could express that visually in a way that would make sense for me and perhaps convey that sense of identity crisis in the viewer. I was seeking to show my character in a form of crisis. I didn’t want to go for the traditional scream or comic book style range of expressions. I would use these, but in this case I wanted to see if one could create something that didn’t fit that mould, yet perhaps might still convey something through the dislocation of the imagery and also through the placement and simplicity of the text.

These are very early days, so I am obviously not going to be nailing too much right now. I think though I have created a sort of image that may define something that interests me more than purely reproducing what I like from others work. I am very interested in the films of Kenneth Anger and the way he builds an overall sense of something although the narrative is often hidden and obtuse. The films come together as we piece the individual elements and in doing so we get closer to the core feelings he is trying to express.

I am not skilled in doing this personally but I am aware subconsciously of these methods used by writers and film makers. This is what attracts me to their work and hence what inspires me when I sit down to create something. There is a big gap between Rothko and Millais in terms of methods of expression, one is pure abstraction the other is pure representation. They both deal with themes of love and loss but in wholly different ways. There is room for all of these ways of expressing feelings in  all mediums the important question for anyone creating art is where exactly do they feel comfortable and how do they want to tell their stories. This is a journey of discovery and I think one where a blog of one’s thoughts along the route is very helpful. I wrote down in an earlier post about influence and unique voice, then this encouraged me to answer that question in my next post. It focussed my mind on an area I was finding difficult and a small door opened and I felt slightly more positive creating the image above than I have creating previous ones that were based upon my feel for what a comic or graphic novel should look like or say.

I am not saying that I won’t continue to experiment with image creation and word integration in order to convey mood and feeling to tell a characters story. I am simply trying to highlight that it may be possible to come at the graphic novel in a way I didn’t think possible earlier this morning. For me the graphic novel idea would have to be something that was deliverable quickly. I like the phrase scale of fail which is used in IT a lot. The beauty of cloud based platforms now and open source CMS is that we have a way of doing this, so we try things until they work or until we  find the thing you want to say and how to say it. The idea of spending a long time doing this, fails to fit with my psyche. I am not only looking at creating ways of expressing my own unique voice and ideas but also importantly ways to do it quickly.

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Graphic Novel; Fitting your influences into the medium.

 

Painting to let shadow form the tree structure

The wood had suddenly fallen into private hands!

Drama is not so easy. Despite having the best intentions to deliver a dramatic sense of foreboding with this moonlit tree, I don’t seem to be able to deliver the idea. I have two images with slightly different emphasis on shadow, but I think ultimately neither work. This is disappointing but a good lesson to learn also. When coming to a scene one is full of many thoughts and ideas and one has a vision of how these ideas might possibly develop into a story. In this case I was feeling;  moonlit perimeter of a wooded area, that almost overnight, had signs placed upon trees to indicate the area was now in private hands and people should keep out. This would lead to a story asking why and who these owners might be. What would anyone want with an overgrown old wood that had been desolate for years. It couldn’t be built upon and it had no obvious value. The tree was supposed to be a symbol of decay but despite going for a dramatic low angle to make it loom out into the foreground as a bigger obstacle, I just haven’t succeeded in creating the menace and sense of questioning fear that I want my character to feel and thus the reader to feel.

It is one thing to develop some visual techniques that may deliver a graphic novel sensibility but it is quiet another to create the drama and tension one seeks to portray via the images. As this is the first shot and it stands in isolation it may be more difficult to deliver as it floats in a sea of non context currently. Would it be more powerful as part of a mid edit along with perhaps a setting shot of the entire wood first? I am thinking about this all the time when I sit down to write, where do I begin the edit. Do I start with a tight close up, almost a cut into a characters eyeball and then pull back and deliver the wider scene or do I need to set the scene first and the zoom into the specifics. There are thousands of ways to tell a story but it seems that expectations of what the graphic novel is for me and its close allegiance with a cinematic feel, makes certain rules hard to break.

I am a fan of Samuel Beckett, indeed I think he has come the closest to explaining the human condition along with Francis Bacon (painter)  . I have read everything he has written and thus I am familiar with his uniquely non narrative style. I have become used to being tossed into somewhere and following instinctively the way he wants to lead me into his world. I cannot come to his stories with known paths. I must allow myself to go with the feel of his words.  This has always appealed to me as I feel literature is one of the only arts that has few great exponents of  what one might call abstract style. Readers tend to need an overarching narrative, which isn’t necessary in other art forms. Finnegan’s Wake by Joyce is a fine examples of the difficulty of non narrative works in literature. People simply would not tackle such a book unless they were involved in some form of literary scholarship. I have read it and I have also listened closely to John Cage’s musical interpretation (sound works well in the abstract) and I love them, but they are hard work. My influences in cinema are also non narrative and primarily European. I am currently watching Jane Arden’s films (one of Britain’s finest experimental women film makers who sadly took her own life at 52) and her work also shows how she has used her chosen medium to speak in her own unique way.

So still images for graphic novels present their own real set of problems in telling stories, this is especially true if you are personally interested in non narrative art forms.  I am not sure if I am hitting the wall of my own censorship. I see other graphic novels that inspire me but at the same time they also intimidate me and they act on my subconscious so that I am filtering my own ideas through these high expectations. I have said in a previous post this is very damaging as it is the barrier that can prevent one from doing. It makes it hard to develop story telling and a graphic style of your own when one sees graphic novels whose style and sense you love. I come from a love of abstract art literature and music as I said and it is difficult to lose these influences that make me as a person and at then try to tell a story in another medium with a coherent narrative structure. I have an awful lot to learn. I still believe in doing things swiftly and trying and moving forward rather than giving in and simply replicating what I see.

I am at heart a photographer these are experiments in something other than complex studio lighting and working with models and so forth. I want to explore the graphic novel medium and also encourage others to come to it as a way of telling stories and not necessarily be frightened of doing it differently or inventing their own methods of creating.  One also has to be aware that to translate one’s love of things like Bergman and Beckett into a graphic novel sensibility may of course lead ultimately to disappointment but surely trying is better than not.  I devote about 40 minutes a day to the image and blog posts and so I feel this aids my writing too as I get used to putting together about 1000 words quickly and I get into the discipline of writing about 12,000 words a week here and elsewhere and I am now starting to find that much easier and equally losing my fear of the blank page.

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Graphic Novels, the environments on your doorstep.

Toxic waste drums found at the old facility.

I was particularly interested in how my approach to working with images would cope with the wide variety of textures in a situation like this. I took a wide variety of images today all around abandoned farm buildings and again did this on my way to doing something else, so it was very quick,  free and unstructured. The area had texture which is what I was looking for. I wasn’t looking for more than this currently. I wanted to understand in this image if I could handle the colour subtleties of the leaves in the centre of the picture whilst also maintaining good texture in the oil drum. Wood and metal together with rope and weeds all combine in a very texturally busy image to make the process I work with much more difficult to lay across a single image. I am personally pleased that it has a graphical feel whilst also keeping the air of hyper reality I want and like. Each image created constantly surprises in the way it eventually unfolds and the way it actually ends up.

At the moment I am working on single images and getting used to the process. I then want to start placing several in perhaps a rudimentary grid form layout to begin the elements of story. I am very interested in creating drama through the images and in utilising strong angles and close ups and wide shots as in cinema. The visual style is the next point of focus for me. I want to look at how tension and drama may be built through not just layout but also through the flow of edited images and how the cut sequences run parallel to the story being told.

In the beginning it is about looking at the way I can take ordinary ever day  surroundings and turn those into a visual backdrop for story development. The sense now is to get used to the process of creating single images I think work in a graphic novel style. The style may be unique to me but I feel it goes beyond the photograph and drawing into graphical art in a way that represents the story I want to tell. These stories I hope will emerge as I get to develop a constant process and fully capture the same feel through sets of images. It is a strange but disciplined experience and interesting for me to explore what is possible using limited equipment. I am testing process adaptability at the moment so learning as I go along.

The key thing is to keep doing if only to see what emerges. It would be nice to get a fast and productive method from this approach but perhaps something entirely different will evolve over the course of the blog posts. I want to produce a graphic novel because for me it merges many artistic modes of expression into one place. I may not be able to achieve what I set out to do, but I would like to think I will learn a lot about my photography, drawing and writing as a result.

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Graphic novels. Keep making your own mistakes.

Aura makes her unplanned début!

Ok so here is the deal. Are you sitting down thinking I am going to write the next great European novel or are you sitting down thinking I am just going to let what happens emerge in front to me and  keep going, whatever may appear? The first thought will kill your creativity because it isn’t coming from within you. The desire to create is not a friend of the desire to be acknowledged. The desire to create is not part of the ego. One must lose oneself in the process of creating and keep going in order to find the things we bury inside. This is our unique view of the world and it is lost under the artificial structures of achievement and expectation.

The essence of this post is to encourage doing. It is about letting oneself become free in the process of creation. The creation is not for recognition it is for the simple act of expressing ideas. It is a post about learning through doing. It is more about diving in and trying and seeing what we find. It is not seeking to meet externally set standards. I for example adore film, I love Tarkovsy, Bela Tarr, Bergman, Satyajit Ray, Nuri Bilge Ceylan , Ozu, Kuorsawa and many others. These are great poetic film makers and their work is extraordinary.  Would I want to make films like theirs, of course I would, is it possible? Very unlikely. Do I think it is something that would ultimately lead me to being unhappy to pursue their magic yes I think so. That is because I would be seeking to emulate the greatest film makers in history. This is like saying to yourself sitting in front of a blank page, I want to write a novel as important as a Hemingway. You are the  sum of all voices that influence you but ultimately you have to accept the reality that pursuing artificial expectations of achievement is harmful to your creativity.  Achievement emerges when you have your own voice, it comes from loving what you do, it never comes before it. If you truly find yourself in your work what greater achievement can there possibly be.

Why put this pressure into our lives? Yes we want to be successful but do we have to eat with the gods in order to feel fulfilled. Why spend so much time listening to everyone else telling us how things should be done. Why don’t we just; write, paint, draw, photograph and create every day, purely for the joy of doing it. Would we surely not learn more about ourselves in one year of this, than in 5 years of listening to someone else’s experience of art and then trying to find us through the filter of another’s experience . If you want to get better at something do it, don’t read about doing it, just do it. Write every day for example and at the end of 1 year you will be a better writer and the writer that emerges will be you not someone else who you are trying to be like. Be the best creative you, not the best imitation of someone else’s creative way of seeing.

There are many ways to write a graphic novel, it can take a month or 10 years it is up to you. Hemingway said the first draft of anything is rubbish, so we have to get to the first draft stage over and over to shape it, that is a lot of mistakes and disappointments we are going to have to face up to.  If  Hemingway wrote rubbish first time every time then we are most surely in for the same experience. I want to create and I want to create in a way that I enjoy not a way that makes me depressed, inferior  or not worthy.  I want to do it cheaply and I want to do it fast. I want to learn about myself and understand myself and make mistakes. I don’t want to be taught how not to make mistakes, because I want to learn from my own.  I want to take a story and hit the page running with it and keep writing whatever comes into my head. This often produces the real idea 6 or 7 pages in after a string of total nonsense. We may think it produces nothing worthwhile at all but this would be a mistake. There is something about letting oneself submit to this process that opens our mind to the core of what we are really trying to say and ultimately who we are and what matters most to us as unique individual people.

Aura is an attempt to create a female heroine character in a graphic novel. She is about trying to quickly see ideas of where a story might go, or who might be a heroine. In quickly coming up with ideas about what she looks like I can then start writing down scenes based upon that visual character. It is not about seeking to produce a franchise character or publishing books, it is purely a dialogue with myself. I would say it is about me learning my own methods for expressing my ideas. In the process of doing I learn and often it is the paralysis by analysis syndrome most people find appealing as they can listen and not do. They can look to others to pacify their creative urges because at heart they are more interested in the detail of process and the culture of creative celebrity rather than facing up to the fact they are frightened of doing because they might not be good enough. The question is by whose standards? You must please yourself first, if your objective is to please others then you can only produce derivative work and you will always be removed from your true creative spirit. By all means be inspired by artist’s work but remember you also have to produce too and don’t get caught up in the research and  collecting information mentally. Time is short for all of us and we are here for the briefest moment. In the definite act of doing and not in passive listening we make this precious time uniquely ours.

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Graphic Novels & developing a story.

Setting a consistent colour palette and feel.

I have used in this image what I would think is a more traditional palette of colours in a graphic novel or science fiction comic. The more I read graphic novels the more I realise that each image pulls , much like sentences,  and propels the viewer (reader) forward into the story.  They are essential pieces of ‘direction’ the author is using to draw us deeper into the characters predicaments. Each frame is an edit as in film making, except graphic novels use one still frame rather than 24/25fps to tell a story.  This by definition requires a strong collection of relevant still images, to create the believable environments the character occupies. Populating the environment with the character themselves is another precise matter of timing, gesture and appropriate dialogue.

I think the graphic novel offers a real challenge and requires tremendous discipline for the author. It enables her to think far more deeply about the world she is trying to create for her characters, and in doing so, this enables her to find out more about the characters themselves and she also learns how these created environments reflect a deeper understanding of them as individuals.  You live their lives because you have to connect in a real concrete and physical way with the environments they occupy.  You must create them not in your head but in physical space and I feel that is why graphic novels excel at creating memorable rich characters. Many comic characters have reached iconic status often more so than figures directly taken from literature.  The characters seem equally to continue to find ways of interacting with each new generation of readers.

This doesn’t have to be complicated. I for example take a small environment, in this case the example image is one I drew and photographed of Wembley central underground station in London. There are a huge variety of textures in this one environment; metal, wood, plastic, paper, concrete and so on. There are also; gates, bars, steps,  rails, seats, roofs, passageways and so forth. This is all within one vicinity. I have an 8GB memory card and one spare battery fully charged. I can take thousands of full size images before needing to connect these into a computer.  The story could be set here in this small place but in your graphic novel it  can seem like a huge world to the reader.

I like reading graphic novels and I like the discipline they bring in terms of thinking about a characters physical world and ultimately sharing that in a real way with her. I think it is also a good lesson in transmedia thinking as stories seem to have a much more immersive mixed media future now as publishing changes and authors access to the tools of production and distribution continue to expand each day. Random House for example have just signed a deal with a computer games partner and are looking at a new range of graphic novels to follow soon.

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Pocket camera, pen, notebook sci-fi storyboard on the go.

Sci-Fi storyboarding quick and easy

The most important element here in terms of capturing the textures and feel I want is the train.  The inclusion of the woman’s arm was designed to give me a sense of how skin reacts to the manipulation process.  I wanted to create a feeling of a city that is using its old technology to cope after a disaster. There is a crumpling effect as I have this idea of a disaster that involves some element of time and space shifting slightly and people now see in this overlapping way. The colours also react differently due to atmospheric particles that distort light beams so things do not reflect colour evenly.  The time of the story would be say 100 years from now. The photograph is taken using a pocket Canon Ixus 80IS.

My thinking is to create a comic strip story using the visual elements I can capture on foot in a city using a small camera. I then recreate the final image and feel I want on the computer. In this case metal texture and futuristic (yet old) feelings and so forth using some further hand over drawing on a Wacom and then using these as separate layers in photoshop (original image & hand drawn elements). I then run these both as one file through Topaz.
It is testing ways of how a visual science fiction type story could be set in a real modern city such as London utilising photographs, pen and a notepad to construct a storyboard that later links with the computer storyboard on the desktop.

I think the train result which has only taken about 10 minutes is something that could be developed upon. I must start storyboarding and seeing how I can possibly direct things which are not under my control to create an individual and visually different comic book story.  Have my pocket camera, pen and notebook so coherent story ideas may follow??

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Hazardous Sci-Fi Doodling

The captain is a carrier

Another daft drawing  or rather doodle to play with the idea of pulp sci fi. This is the most hostile world humans have encountered on their exploration of the c14 galaxy.  Some of it is comic in the sense of early pulp sci-fi but also a doodle  that springboards other ideas, particularly the space crew CR unit soldier. It is interesting to doodle the character of the soldier for possible ideas of how these combat solders may look in this environment. The captain has been rescued from the surface, he was located wandering in sector 9 one of the most dangerous areas on X927’s moon AsterAz65  with no protective clothing and he is already showing signs of severe radiation exposure and skin decomposition from microbe attack. The CR unit soldier has connected the biological defence pack directly into his nervous system to send tissue defence bots to destroy all infection sites. He is signalling that the captain has been found. The captain is rather rocky horror show because it is hard to be serious when doodling 🙂 The captain  wasn’t supposed to look like Bono for example. but dressing him in a Vivienne Westwood jacket was intentional?? Please note wearing 3D glasses may improve the drawing somewhat. 3D glasses are not provided unfortunately.  I have heard that crossing your eyes sometimes works for a very cost effective 3D alternative!

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So you think writing is easy?

Frank is a writer of dreams

Click on the image to read it more clearly. A very light hearted attempt to play with the idea of a comic strip which can flesh out words in a very real way, when it is done properly. Not in this case of course as the drawings are just to fill in the idea and play with the box spaces. I have always loved comic strips as a way of telling stories. I think in the hands of good artists the story really springs to life. Would the words (alone) of Frank’s tale be enough? I think the visuals add something that enables one to attach to a character and enables things to be said more succinctly. I drew this to make a point to myself about character creation. I have no drawing skills obviously but in some ways that echoes the bewildered state of Frank I think.

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